Texts across the playground
Charlotte
18 – 10 – 2009 12:45
Have you seen the pictures of Gibbo?
Bethany
18-10 – 2009
OMG I nearly died laughing. Do you think his wife knows?
Charlotte
18 – 10 – 2009 12:53
If she didn’t she soon will. Jake’s plastered pictures all over school!!
Bethany
18 – 10 – 2009 12:57
LOL. Serves him right miserable old git
Charlotte
18 – 10 – 2009 13:01
Going to maths then?
Bethany
18 – 10 – 2009 13:05
Wouldn’t miss it for the world
Note to all staff
There will be a meeting in the staff room at today.
Please arrive promptly.
ALL ARE EXPECTED TO ATTEND
Answer-phone message
George? George, it’s Amanda. George?…oh God, when will you learn to answer your bloody phone? We’re in trouble. Look, Someone took some photos last night and as you can imagine this makes things rather awkward.
Oh God George, everyone in the office has seen them. I think you might have problems at work today. I hope to God you check your messages before you leave for work. Call me.
Mr Trimble’s speech in assembly
I am sorry to have had to call this assembly as we come up to exam time. I am only too aware that some of you will require all the time you have left in order to gain even the least respectable of marks this Summer.
However, it has been brought to my attention that certain images have been in circulation. I am sure these images will have raised questions in your young minds.
I ask you now to do the sensible thing, not to gossip, but to concentrate on your studies. I will be sending a letter to your parents tomorrow after a meeting later today to discuss matters.
Be under no illusion, children printing images, sending messages of a salacious nature, or those involved in spreading rumours will be dealt with severely.
That is all.
Staff Meeting
Mrs Beltcham
I never knew he had such lovely legs.
Miss Cartwright
Quadratic equations by day, leather-clad dancing by night, who’d have thought it?
Mr Trimble
Thank you everybody. As we’re all here, we might as well begin.
As you know, several photographs which involve a member of staff have caused quite a stir. I have recommended that our head of Mathematics take the decision to leave with immediate effect.
He has agreed to this request if he is allowed first to talk to you, his colleagues. I have some reservations but…Mr Gibson.
Mr Gibson
Thank you Headmaster. Colleagues, I must be to the point and I must be honest.
In 2005, my wife and I ran into some financial difficulties. As you know, surviving on a teacher’s salary is not easy. It was at this time – when we were close to losing our family home – that my wife, Amanda, met with an old school friend who had just set up a new business in town. He was looking for people of a certain age to come and work for him in the…erm…‘entertainment’ business. He was offering terribly good money. As members of the Tewksbury Amateur Dramatics Society, both Amanda and I were use to a little…role playing.
We were an instant success in our roles as ‘hosts’ at the Pink Jaguar club and were soon able to put our money worries behind us.
Unfortunately, the job in question necessitated the wearing of ‘unique’ work-clothes as well as a little dancing and singing. It is of course a life not usually allied with that of Head of Mathematics at a reputable fee-paying school. Now that it is common knowledge, I am somewhat compromised.
And that’s it really. I will of course be resigning immediately.
Miss Cartwright
He probably makes more money in his other job anyway.
Mrs Beltcham
God, I would die for a pair of legs like that.
Texts across the playground
Charlotte
19 – 10 – 2009 08:25
Have you heard? Gibbos gone?
Bethany
18-10 – 2009
No way. Is he coming back?
Charlotte
18 – 10 – 2009 12:53
No. And that woman in the red boots was his wife!!!
Bethany
18 – 10 – 2009 12:57
Nice boots!
Charlotte
18 – 10 – 2009 13:01
Nice wife. How did that happen?
Bethany
18 – 10 – 2009 13:05
LOL. Why has he left? Just cos hes a perv.
Charlotte
19 – 10 – 2009 08:25
I know. He was the best maths teacher I’ve had.
Bethany
18-10 – 2009
How are we gonna pass a GCSE now?
Charlotte
18 – 10 – 2009 12:53
He always was a selfish bastard.